October of the Wheel of My Life
When I was a young boy I was restless like others of that age, eager to grow up and be independent. We wanted freedom; we wanted to break free and not constantly told what to do by parents, teachers, siblings and all other elders.
Childhood was bliss and reasons for joy were in abundance. There were nothing that was not worth celebrating while we particularly looked forward to the festivals. The festive seasons started with Saraswati puja in February and ended with Christmas and New Year in December. The days would pass counting down the days from one celebration to the next one. All in all it was chasing the next event in the calendar and enjoying life throughout.
As the numbers in the calendar kept changing, we continued to add years to our age and life got a new meaning. Life became front loaded with responsibilities as we stopped growing up and started to grow old instead. Those dark hairs now got transformed to a combination of salt and pepper. It’s only a matter of time before they all turn to be salt only.
Today as we approach the October of wheel of our life, we continue to chase the days. But those are the days between one weekend and the next. There is hardly a moment to pause a look around in this journey.
The days always passes at the same pace but sometimes it appears to be lot longer than other and 2015 is one such example of a long year. This year has been a cruel reminder of the greatest truth of our existence. We are mere mortals with a definitive beginning and an end. The scientists are working towards “curing death” but that is still a long way from reaching lesser mortals like us.
For the past few years, the world has been dogged with conflicts and has lost many a life due to those easily avoidable wars in the Middle East, man-made disasters, natural calamities, and of natural causes. We have also lost in 2015 more than fair share of lives that touched the lives of thousands of people outside their respective families.
On a personal level I have lost two very dear friends and few relatives. Both the friends were on the other side of forty. As in “God of Small Things” they were “Not old. Not young. But a viable die-able age." I have learnt that each day above ground is a celebration and not to be wasted by grumbling or whining about haves and have nots.
This is a life changing experience for me which created mayhem in my inner self. I had the feeling of extreme grief and got distracted by the thought of what could happen to a person, a family within few moments. This is unexplainable and could only be defined as the vagaries of twenty fifteen.
I will be naive to imply there had been no positivity or achievements in this year as there has been plenty but the negativity is weighing it down for me. So this year needs to end sooner than later as this has been unquestionably very furious but not fast enough.