What's in a Surname

This is the 100th post of my blog and dedicated to the Indian Woman.

Why should Indian woman change their surname after marriage? They are one of the most educated people in this universe and stand shoulder to shoulder with the men folk. Their contribution in our society is immeasurable and so is their dominance. Most of us were taught in our school and colleges by women and we still fondly remember them with respect and sometime with fear.  In brief they are smart, capable, respected and in charge. So changing their surname is their decision similar to visual symbols of marriage, like saree, mang, bindi, mangal sutra and the likes which some might consider as adornment.

But like a celebrity once said, India is so vast and so diverse that whatever we say about India is true but incidentally the opposite is also true. So on one side there is equal opportunity for all and all genders or more appropriately equality exist among equals and on the other side a vast majority of our women are shackled by injustice, primitive mindset and cruel male ego.

While there is no need for a surname to provide an identity for a self respecting independent individual male or female, there is a need for a family name for the weak and dependent. Every child needs one during the growing years and so does some women by necessity or by choice which could be love, prestige, privilege or anything in-between.

A man too does not need to carry the surname, family name or fathers name along with their own but most of the time they chooses to do just that...

The Construction Man

This post is designed to make the ace construction manager look like a super hero, a character that is larger than life and well deservedly so. Getting skyscrapers, high risers of even a 30 storied building for that matter is not a child’s play. Anyone who had tried playing with block during childhood will know what I mean. If you are still not convinced, try your hand making a sand castle on your next trip to the beach.

The construction industry is very diverse and could easily challenge the nature with its variety.  One has to be brave, assertive and at the same time demonstrate agility in approach to survive in this industry. Unlike the designers, who are primarily dreamers, the construction teams deal with harsh reality and transforms ideas into built forms. There is no gate pass to the top for the timid or the weak. But that for the top, not all who fall on the line are smart, most of them are as clumsy as they come.

A complex construction project has the prime contractor and the lead consultants the construction managers of the PM-CM firm who represent the project. The leaders of each of these three are the lead characters of the construction project and can make a difference between success and failure. They are the boss-man and more often than none demand the top dollar. They are the Construction Man (agers).

But to be there one has to prove his mettle and that it is not easy to navigate through the crowd of alpha males without stomping others foot or stabbing in the back. It requires solid foundation built upon technical as well as managerial strengths. The multitude of the qualities necessary will give any superstar from a Bollywood or Hollywood movie a run for the money. Nevertheless, I will list those below anyway:

·        Core knowledge competencies in either civil, Structure or MEP

·        Knowledge of building materials and construction methods

·        Knowledge of contract and specifications

·        Effective communication and presentation skills

·        Team building and resolving conflicts

·        Capable of estimating and cost accounting of the project

·        Knowledge of Value Engineering

·        Project controls and schedule development and analytical know-how

·        Familiar with business law and Labour laws

·        Construction claims and Negotiating skills

·        Awareness of integrating building systems including Fire and life safety systems

The power of Woman

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I believe that our society is still matriarch in its structure. There is at least one woman who motivate, inspire of dictate us at various point in life. In the chronological sequence we get introduced to them within the family. We see the dominance of Grandmother give way to our mother followed by sisters, wife and finally our daughters.  

Even today how many men leaving aside the rogue ones, the ones defined by the dictionary meaning of a dishonest, knavish person; scoundrel can dare to disobey their mother. This love and respect for mother has been glorified in our movies in all Indian languages. There are instances, not very old when the mother had intervened and brought some kind of resolution when the two famous Mumbai bothers fought for the family billions. This power of the mother probably has inspired our ancestors to perceive women as the Goddess and place them on the high alter. 

But once outside the family limit, the male of the species seems to be a different animal. They seem to classify the rest as other women and other's women look at them differently. We are extremely worried about our society particularly the way it treats our women and the concerns are reinforced every morning once we get over the newspaper. When it comes to the other women and other's women, they end up being simply object de desire and even the age cease to be a factor.

This is not only in India but a global phenomenon. A quick look at the statistics extracted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics#India paints a gory picture. 

A new case is reported every 20 or 22 minutes and in 2012, the conviction rate for rape was 24.2%. “Adjusted for population growth over time, the annual rape rate in India has increased from 1.9 to 2.0 per 100,000 people over 2008-2012 period. This compares to a reported rape rate of 1.2 per 100,000 in Japan, 3.6 per 100,000 in Morocco, 4.6 rapes per 100,000 in Bahrain, 12.3 per 100,000 in Mexico, 24.1 per 100,000 in United Kingdom, 28.6 per 100,000 in United States, 66.5 per 100,000 in Sweden, and world's highest rate of 114.9 rapes per 100,000 in South Africa.”

While there is no comfort in the fact that other nations are worse than ours, there is one thing that we need to do. We need to start to bring a change at this very moment and this change has to start from individual homes. We cannot expect to see the changes next morning but without doubt we will leave a safer and better world for the future generations to come. We do not have to treat the women as Goddess but fellow human beings with the equal right to live and let live.

Stress Deducted at Source

We all are running the rat race having plunged ourselves into this knowingly or unknowingly.  At times we get the urge to excel more, while for some it’s a matter of sheer sustenance. No matter who pushed us in, this generates a lot of stress. This stress is a stealthy killer. There could be uncountable sources of stress but it all end up by us committing ourselves to unrealistic schedules or imposed with unachievable targets that we accept. This weighs down on our shoulder and makes our life miserable and deprives us of the finer things in life. We are not able to sleep like babies any longer.

The management gurus will tell us that at its core lies “Time Management”. Our ability to manage our time is the key to lead a stress free in our day to day life under normal circumstances.  Time, interestingly is a great leveller. Rich & poor, weak & powerful, the oppressed & the oppressors, all have the same number of hours in a day as they have the same number of days in a week.

The following are some of the tips that will go a long way to help us in managing our time and achieve “Stress Deducted at Source” status.

Organize works at the beginning of the day.

Prioritize the works based on urgency and difficulty levels.

Say No to task that you cannot complete.

Concentrate on the task at hand and do not get distracted.

Use waiting time that we spend being restless. It would be while we travel or stuck in the traffic. It could be waiting for a doctor’s appointment or any other engagement.

Keep the tough one for the prime time as everyone has a part of the day when they are most efficient. Someone is a morning person and some are night, while others are in between. Leave the tough ones for time when you are most efficient

Reserve your personal time as we take all the trouble of work only to be able to take care of self and family. There need to be a time for enjoyment and retrospection.

Celebrate success. This is the most important of all. Any achievement no matter how big or small it might be is a success to celebrate. This is a treat that we deserve.

But we are aware of these and conveniently seek solace in Shakespeare’s quote from The Merchant of Venice. “If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches and poor men’s cottages princes' palaces.”

So we also have to have ways of getting stress out of our system and everyone have their own methods. I have a few favourites too.

1. The first one is to shrug it off the shoulder. It involves physically shaking it off by shrugging both the shoulders together.
2. The second one is to scream alone and vent it out. The best place for such an act is inside the car with windows drawn up.
3. The third one is to listen to soothing music.
4. The fourth one is to have a bath with warm water.
5. The last and best one is to give a warm hug to my child. That simply transport me to another world.

Revive the Tradition

The last festive season, we embarked on a mission inspired by a lady in a far away country. It was beginning of December of 2014 and the time when most of the places in the world are in a festive mood, some more than others. We were on a train and we saw a lady, from a couple of generation before us, having a glass of wine and writing the Xmas and New Year cards.

I thought why not try revive the old traditions of sending cards for the festive seasons to some of our friends and relatives. That way we will give a chance for the postman to shake their legs a bit. . Cards and letter are fast getting extinct and by now and I do not see anyone campaigning to save the post box.  My last “partner in post” has also given up about two years back and got baptised to the internet. When I started to receive response to my letters through emails, I did not know how to react. It took the experience out of getting informed though I got the response almost instantly. I had no idea if I wanted to get a response so instantly but in the process brought the whole communication business to a standstill.

So we bought some art papers and started to create our cards right from the scratch and managing the envelope was as difficult a challenge as the card itself. Trust me it is not as easy as you would imagine when you start something that you have not done for such a long period of time. It reminded me of Shakespeare’s quote from The Merchant of Venice.....

“If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches and poor men’s cottages princes' palaces. “

But there was no going back and I took out my old address book form an old trunk (the one made of real paper) and drew up a list of friends and relatives with still valid addresses. The list was as follows:

Kolkata -              8

Mumbai -             2

Pune -                   2

Delhi –                 2

Bahrain -              2

Bangalore –         1

Agartala -            1

Doha -                 1

Al Khobar -         1

Muscat -              1

London -             1

Finally it was time to go to the post office and buy the stamps, stick them to the envelope and drop those in the mail box. Even though it cost a small fortune, it was worth it as my daughter got the first taste of writing and posting a real letter. This was our contribution in reviving the tradition and also give “Stamp collection” another chance.

However, 4 months later there seems to be still 6 cards undelivered. It appears that it will take more effort to remove the rust out of the postal system. Come December, we shall have another attempt.

Vocabulary & Whit Reading

The other day I came across a promotional bus, while driving down the road. But I managed to take a picture with my phone camera taking advantage of the traffic congestion. I am of the habit of clicking an odd photographs while waiting at the signals if something fancies my taste.
But this time, I was not sure if this sentence reads correct. It would have been quite normal, had they written " Paint your life with reading". But they chose not to and I am sure that they did it in purpose. Interestingly the sentence makes perfect meaning when we break it.

Paint your life

Whit Reading

In other words paint your life with a little bit of reading. It did send me out reading, even if that was a dictionary!

Can Money Buy Spring

Bengal is the land of 6 seasons unlike other parts of the world with only four. Spring is the last season in the Bengali calendar and the most pleasant time of the year when the winter is on the way out while summer is yet to set in. Be it east or west, spring has inspired the poets generations after generations and they have generously adored it with prose and poems.

Festivals bring people together and the more inclusive a festival is the more popular it is. There is no better time to celebrate than when the climate is good or rather the spring is in the year. Holi, the festival of colors beats all other hands down in its variety, rendering and inclusiveness. It is simply breathtaking and comparable only to the festival of lights.

But this nice weather that we love so much is also conducive to the growth of micro organisms and spread of diseases. In the earlier days these colors were made out of various natural elements were believed to have properties that enhance our immunity system. What better ways to could you imagine immunizing the entire community? But it was then. Now everything has changed in our personal, communal and social life. The number of bad and not so good people are growing fast and taking over and spoiling the celebrations.

But our winter is devoid of ice and things are different for those who wait for the ice to melt and bring some reprieve. They wait for the foliage to return to the trees, they wait for the flowers to bloom, they wait for the cherry to blossom, and they wait for the sign of life and the sign of youth...... they wait for the spring.

Money can change our life in lot of ways. HVAC system for example has detached us from the nature. We do not wait for the spring so eagerly any more. We have pleasant and controlled climate at home, at work, in our cars or wherever we are. We have the fruits of all seasons all around the year. But what does the youth of yesterdays do? The spring of the life has visited quite a few years back and there are no signs of its return. They try to justify the situation with statements like “life begins after forty”.  Is there a way they can get back the spring? Can money buy spring for them.....