A Cityscape .... a thought

Sometimes we stare at a distant skyline and wonder about life. The thought of extraterrestrial life confuses us as we are unaware of any living beings in other planets of this large Universe. As a matter of fact, no one else knows about their existence either.

First I think we are alone and then chuckle to conclude .... maybe not!

Integrity: you & me - now & then

Integrity is the essence of everything successful......

"Integrity for me means adherence to strong moral and ethical principles while conducting our life whether or not other people are watching." Bucky Fuller’s (R. Buckminster) statement therefore implies that one has to carry out all life activities within ethical and moral limits to be rewarded with success.

Simply put, do good and it'll turn out good!

There is no denying of the fact that integrity of character is the minimum one requires for a success story although this not always the most visible trait of successful individuals. There are unfortunately many corrupts who gatecrashed into that league but we can always argue that exception proves the rule.

People have changed over the past century and today they are not so keen to retain the moral high grounds. Historian Warren Susman has opined in his book “Culture as History: the Transformation of American Society in the Twentieth Century” that the use of the word “character” peaked in the 19th century when it remained a key word in the vocabulary of Americans and Englishmen.” It was then very important to society and was promoted as an essential component of one’s identity. Integrity no doubt tops any list for good character traits.

What other desirable traits could you think of? Maybe some of these:

• Self-discipline
• Conscientiousness
• Honesty
• Reliability
• Optimism
• Compassion
• Kindness
• Perseverance
• Generosity
• Courageousness
• Authenticity
• Forgiveness
• Fairness
• Humility
• Responsibility
• Respectfulness
• Loyalty

The motives behind Motivation

The motives behind Motivation was published by me on the Linked In.

The global economy follows a pattern of peaks and troughs and the mantra to survive those inclement phases of recession is to stay prepared in advance. Readiness calls for periodic retrospection or self-appraisal followed by an honest endeavor to upskill ourselves. There is an old saying "if you aren't growing, you're dying" and this drive for growth often is what separates the outstanding from the adequate.

The thought of “further development” invariably annoys us at the beginning and a common question that haunts us is “why bother about further development within our busy daily schedule?” A gentleman once confided that he would rather be investing that resources for the future of his children.

But the harsh reality of present day life is that no jobs are permanent. Over the past decades, we have witnessed numerous profit making business models employing thousands around the globe going bankrupt or venturing into a totally new arena.  Another fact is that majority of today’s top ranking companies are less than 20 years old, thanks to evolving technologies. Continuous training of employees including the managers in certain industries are no longer an option but a necessity.

Professional membership to institutions such as PMI and CIOB insists on tangible continuous development. These are quantified through “Professional Development Units” and “Continuous Development Units” respectively. Survival therefore comes only with meticulous self-planning and happenstance could only take us so far.

Self-development is complicated to categorize considering the potential to improve one of our many aspects, be it persona, character, Knowledge or skill. But in the context of professional improvement, it has to be measurable and it is more of a process rather than being a one-time endeavor.

The dilemma is that once personal time along with top dollar is spent, it’s not unusual for Individuals to equate self-developmental to promotion or pay rise. Senior professionals see improvement from a broader perspective while the junior leaders find their motivation in short term gains. After in-depth discussions with the peers, it was obvious that the factors which inspire professionals are very diverse as listed below:

• Increase the chance of promotion or a pay rise
• Attain mastery of a skill set as mastery provides increased autonomy
• Gain more control over work within one’s own organization or team
• Develop skills that may indirectly be of value in difficult times such as recessions and layoffs
• Seek avenues outside the narrower focus of their given career field
• Self-direct learning to broaden knowledge within one’s area of interest
• The drive to evolve as a better human being and increase individual resilience
• Create the potential to discover new areas of interest

Gulf talent (2016) provides an interesting insights into the postgraduate study trend in the Middle East and the percentage of willing individuals is surprisingly very high. Even though this trend is triggered by the instability within the job market, the reasons for further development aligns well with my personal findings. Following are few graphical excerpts:

Love is a mental disorder

It was a typical setup for such traditional restaurant,high back seats neatly packed against each other with a square table in between. He was sitting next to a young couple having an argumentative conversation and he inadvertently became part of a important chapter of their life story.

“Loving is not always an easy task. Love comes with it's share of pain and guilt. Men fall in love more than women but you simply do not care.” she said.  

“ Yea! when women do fall in love, they become addicted to the feeling more easily. But unfortunately I am not a woman” came the reply.

“People invariably find the person who they fall in love with attractive and they write poetry or sing love songs. You are so different and difficult,” she quipped.

“This is not funny!” he said. “ Love is a mental disorder and I cannot transform into an insane to impress you. I am what I am. Period.”

“What's that you said? Now I know, I must be mad to love you so much” she said with tears in her eyes.

“Different people may exhibit different symptoms of love but when you list them down and compare with the diagnostic criteria of madness, you will realize.I will give you some example..” but before he could continue, she snapped.

“ I do not want any of your stories and explanation. I would rather be mad than sane for the sake of my love.”

“Preoccupation with lover is no different from obsessional illness. Feeling the urge to cry or ecstasy are bipolar disorder often referred to as depression. All points to one reality ….. Love is a mental illness.” He wanted to clear out the smog collecting around their relationship. But she got up and walked of saying ...

“ I was in love but you are SICK! Tomorrow morning I will be better but you will remain a loner till you change yourself ”

She never saw him again........
#thatstory

Deception, thy name is Trompe-l'œil

There is an interesting story about deceptive painting involving two renowned Greek painters from around 464 BC. Zeuxis, once produced a still life so real that it convinced the birds to peck at the grapes in there. Parrahasius, a rival artist later invited Zeuxis to judge one of his paintings after pulling back a tattered curtains in his study. But when Zeuxis tried, he could not, as the curtains too were part of that Parrhasius's painting. 

This form of painting would probably be categorized as l trompe-l'œil.

Trompe-l'œil as defined by Wiki is French for "deceive the eye". This is a technique of art which uses realistic imagery to create the optical illusion that the depicted objects exist in three dimensions. A typical trompe-l'œil mural might depict a window, door, or hallway, intended to suggest a larger room.

This is also written as trompe l’oeil in English and is thought to have originated much earlier than our documented history. Examples are found in murals from Greek and Roman times.

This also reminds me of our own mythological story of Mahabharata. When the Pandevas invited their cousins Kauravas to their new palace, Duryodhan had trouble differentiating real from illusions making a clown of himself in the process.

About a decade ago, I was involved in a project for one of the royals and that was my introduction to the world of trompe l’oeil. We had crew of artist sent out from our Rome office to do carry out the task. It was the female bedroom of the suite in his so to say winter getaway. The idea was to have the drapes painted on the walls to match those installed on the windows. I was the architect overseeing the commissioning of the fit-out and was quite pleased to be part of the overall experience. While leave some imagery from that job here, I will save the description of its application process for another time and place.

Life is not fair

Life is not fair.It is a thought she felt started to cross her mind more often than anyone else in the whole world. This negative feelings came back without fail during her childhood whenever things went against her wishes. In the face of all odds of being a single parent, her mother was the epitome of positivity, who always kept her motivated. That was some 24 years back when she was just a little girl of 10 and could barely perceive what fairness in life really meant.

“ I am born out of a wedlock and have never seen my father” was her biggest complaint. As a teen, she could barely find solace in the assurance that she was a love child born out of deep love and affection between two persons. It was too deep a philosophy for her to understand the complexities of human lives, their social constraints, their limits and helplessness. A couple who love each other cannot always get married and it is their love that let one see the constraints and shines the light to move on.

“ Life's not fair!”was the first thought that came to her mind this morning. She could feel that he was gone. And, soon this house, this bedroom, the furniture, the garden with the trees they planted together will have little meaning. The hibiscus, the rose, the marigold in the garden will lose their colors and look pale.

They both agreed that this relationship was on borrowed time with no future of its own. The temptation of stealing this period of togetherness weighed much heavier than being with someone else for eternity.  Now that he is gone, it was the strangest feeling she ever had.

Maybe it is her destiny that she was re-living a chapter from her mother’s life or perhaps it was coded into her genes...

On the way to Reunion

The Reunion“I shall name him Ujjyal”, my grandfather declared soon after the birth of his first grandchild. “He shall bring glory to the family”, was his wish first time as he saw me. His dream, I learnt later was to see his grandson take charge of large construction projects. As a young boy, he was fascinated by a British Engineer in charge of constructing the long span rail bridge across the village river. He himself had done quite well considering the humble beginning and accumulated significant amount of wealth during his lifetime. Over the years he developed an uncanny habit of investing in the right business, right property and right people. If there was one thing that he missed was the genuine respect of people. The respect doctor, an engineer or a collector so easily commanded all the time. Since his children couldn’t fulfill his dream, it was passed down to his grandson. The family had moved to Lutyens’ Delhi from neighboring Haryana soon after I was born. My father inherited the business acumen and created a business empire no one in the village would dare to dream. He kept the doors open to new ideas, never ignoring the latest trends or buzzes. Wealth came with its natural privileges allowing us the passage to most sought after schools, clubs along with social acceptance among the New Delhi elites. Though I had two younger siblings, it was me who remained the chosen one to fulfill grandpa’s dream. I was engrossed in those thoughts when the alarm went off breaking my state of trance.It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batch-mates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.
I was almost certain it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her for about 60 endless seconds, and when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.I still remember the first time I saw Anna in our college campus with that rustic look so commonly visible on the streets of Delhi. But for her it came with a combination of tremendous self-confidence and a pair of very expressive dark eyes. The naughty smile in the left corner of her lips appeared to be carefully cultivated. She might not be a conventional beauty but was attractive enough for me to have her image engraved in my memory since the first sight. It is so much different from the person who is standing ahead of the queue today.The past five years I have reminded myself again and again that I had willfully and forcefully got myself removed from Anna’s life. I carefully nurtured an environment that would foster mistrust, anger and frustration. Eventually when I succeeded, I was more hurt than anyone else. If you have to elucidate your position, they say you need to break the ice spontaneously when you come across that person. If you hesitate, it will be even more daunting and that's precisely what had happened when our glances met. I hesitated and turned away not knowing what to do or say. She walked away after checking-in while I stood there with my adrenaline rushing up. First I wished for our seats to be next to each other and then I decided to request the lady at the counter for that.“Good morning sir! May I have your ticket please”, she said courteously.“Yes, off course,” I stretched my hand and then quickly supported it on the counter.“Only one bag?” she asked“and a handbag” and after a pause requested “may I have a seat by the window.”“Sure, sir” was the answer.
I despised moments like this for failing to put forward a simple request,while having no problems making business pitches or board presentations. I left it with destiny and I hated it.The flight was only half full. Neither Anna nor anyone else sat beside me. I closed my eyes and went back to my incomplete morning thoughts.“Marriages are made in heaven”, but no one has ever defined any specific place where boys would fall in love. It could happen anywhere but if a list was made, engineering college campuses will surely top it. There must be something in the air that makes boys so much more vulnerable. But when we look at the number of successful relationships evolving from those affairs, it's anyone’s guess how far are those places from heaven. Marriages are definitely not made in engineering colleges, I was convinced. There of course shall be exceptions like Aniket and Vanshika, whose wedding is turning out to be the first reunion of our batch mates with near 100% attendance. I remember the day was 28th of January. A day that was no special to the place or the country. Neither was it of any importance to all those who lived around us. I decided to make it very special for myself and Ana. I believed this decision was going to change our life forever. I had been close to her for more than a year by then and we were very comfortable in each other’s company. When I proposed to spend rest of our lives together, she did not have to think twice before accepting.“This is the second life changing incident of my life” was all that she told that day. She confided later that the first one was during her childhood days and gave such lucid description that I could still visualize it.The scene in a developed country or a large Indian metropolitan city would be very different, she said. There would be frenzy of activities with ambulance, sirens and men in white uniforms running with stretchers. She described the little girl of 4 years and 7 months, who stood by the door of their humble house of 3 and half rooms. The dilapidated white ambulance, a Second World War remnant too did not turn up at their door steps that day. They were simply not
important enough.  She felt an aura of gloom around her though could not comprehend its gravity.Since that day everyone was worried about Mohit uncle, her father’s elder brother who lied on the bed helplessly. She was not allowed to enter his room as freely as before. She watched him and her family suffer for the next 5 years and a half. Each of those days made her more resolved to be a doctor to relieve others of their pain and agony. But going through a medical college was too much for her their limited means. Her good grades however got her into this engineering college of great repute.In the 1980s, Indians in smaller towns typically lived under conditions of near-pan-optical surveillance. Any purchase made at the neighborhood store registered not only in their register but also in the eyes and the memories of the shop keeper who knew the entire family. The young girls were more under scrutiny than anyone else. She couldn’t as much walk to the post office without her movement having tracked and analyzed. In the contrast the contemporary condominiums in the cities and the suburbs offered a striking degree of anonymity where it was no longer a rule that one has to know her neighbors.Coming to Bengaluru from a small town called Amarpur and adjust the complexities of a big city life was challenging for young Anasua. The most difficult of all was to handle the independence and anonymity, but it was only a matter of time before she would transform herself to the Anna I came to like, love and sometimes hated myself for doing so.“Hello stranger”. A familiar voice from the past woke me up. At first I thought I must be dreaming. Looking to my right I found Anna sitting next to me with her magnetic smile.“What a wonderful surprise”, I continued without stopping for a breath.“It is so good to see you! You know, I wanted to come and meet you. I even wanted to ask for a seat next to you. But I couldn't do it and you beat me once more. You were special and you continue to remain special.”