Life, Loss, and the Lessons We Never Wanted

 

Image: Lukas@pexels

Nancy Stephan wrote in her memoir, “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, people we can’t live without but have to let go.” This powerful truth resonates deeply, touching each of us at different points in life. While we may grasp it intellectually, experiencing it firsthand is an entirely different matter. There is always a gap between knowing and truly internalizing. As the Bard put it, if practice were as easy as knowing what to do, then “chapels would be churches and poor men’s houses, princes' palaces.” The real struggle lies not in understanding life’s truths but in learning to live with them.

Hardship, loss, and unfulfilled expectations can leave us questioning everything. Why this? Why now? Why me? We search for answers, sometimes directing our frustration at a higher power, other times merely shouting into the void. But questioning, while natural, seldom brings resolution. So how do we move forward when life derails our plans?

There’s no universal answer, no foolproof formula. But one thing that helps is cultivating a mindset of positivity—not by denying pain, but by consciously choosing to focus on what we can control. It’s about acknowledging hardship while reminding ourselves of our resilience. It’s about seeking support, allowing space to heal, and believing in the possibility of finding light even in the darkest moments.

Life isn’t a straight road, and there’s no set timeline for moving forward. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. What matters is being kind to ourselves and trusting that, in time, we will find our way.

At the heart of it all is acceptance—of life as it comes.

• Whatever happens in life has to happen.
• Whomever we meet, we meet for a reason.
• Whenever something is meant to start, it will start then—neither sooner nor later.
• What is over is over—let go, without guilt.